nihilisticc:

So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.

laugh-addict:

When you see someone you hate is having a bad day

foodnun:

WHAT THE F*** DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE B*** I WILL THROW AFRICA AT YOU B****

ashbensos:

who the fuck designed this though

like how am I now supposed to get a chipmunk voice without giving spiderman a fucking blowjob huH

iwillmindfuckyou:

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

Cry

your friends are keepers

despookinator:

i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

theatomicboom:

manfurarm:

nevver:

Ladybird Mimic Spider

 #fucking spiders man #ANYTHING could be a spider #you reach into your fridge and pull out a popsicle SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY A FUCKING POPSICLE SPIDER #you’re walking down the street and a hydrant tackles you GUESS WHAT COCKSUCKER #HYDRANT SPIDER #you reach out in the dark and flip on a light switch AND YOU’RE FUCKED IT WAS A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER #YOU JUST GAVE A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER A FUCKDAMN HANDJOB #NICE GOING YOU SKETCHASS ARACHNOFONDLER

adolphinhitler:

Welcome to my school 

thatsmoderatelyraven:

Can we just talk about this

thatsmoderatelyraven:

Most Likely To Tweet It

thunderwear:

I FEEL LIKE THE WIND GOT KNOCKED OUT OF ME

heyfunniest:

sims in real life

chelsdamelsp:

Asking the real questions